Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
