He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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