Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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