she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
that may or may not have been my penis.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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