You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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