i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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