Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need a beard to bite.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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