i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
