Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize