I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
