Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
