I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Watching her eat just hurts me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
