So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
