I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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