somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
