He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
