Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
