Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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