I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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