summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
