im so drunk with asians
where?
always
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
