just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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