Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
