: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
