I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
