i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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