but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
