If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
