um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
