Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
