she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
