thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
