This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
