I think i peed on brittanys purse
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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