you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
