I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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