I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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