The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
