I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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