not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
