Apparently you make a good broom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize