He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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