Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
