just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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