dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
