This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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