Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
