I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize