Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
