what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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