so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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