If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
