I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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