Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize