im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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