My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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