see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
