Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
